Thursday, January 26, 2017

A Series of Unfortunate Events in My Life

Yes, I watched the movie in 2004 starring Jim Carey. Yes, I also watched the series on Netflix and eager to have the season two since questions from season one just keeps coming. Anyway, this is about my current situation and I do not mean to make you sad in anyway. Just sharing basically.
Last Sunday, my back starting to hurt again. I have a pilonidal cyst that won't go away. Had a surgery back in 2014, two years later here it is again. Specifically October last year when it start swelling up and I had to open it (twice) while I'm awake. I talked to a surgeon saying it's up to me if I want to do a full surgery again but it's like 50/50 if it is really going to be gone after that. I said no since after the minor openings it felt better. Here I am again, talking about it. Back to Sunday, I'm having a hard time sitting properly since the target of that is my lower back. I'm walking slowly as well. Monday before work, Mom can't take it and she opened it. Damn that hurt. It was a minute circle and blood was the one dripping. I made it to work and hours later, it felt a little better. After work, I went to a walk in clinic in Moreno Valley Kaiser thinking I can request to cut it open. Doctor arrive and took a glanced at my wound saying go to surgery. I tried asking to cut it open so no surgery needed but Nope, he just said I will refer you and go to surgery. It looks like for him, it doesn't even matter about my history.

Next day I received a call from Kaiser to schedule the consultation then if possible surgery. I said can I call back in a couple of minutes to ask my mom. Told my mom and we decided a time, I called back another person answered telling me that spot I want is not available anymore. Bummer. I said well I had no choice so that I was told is taken. Representative told me next time book it no matter what since it's filled up fast and you can always cancel than loosing that spot you were told. So I have an appointment next week. Tuesday comes in, went to work. Around afternoon, I can feel like I have a small diaper in my back that is full. When I went home, mom checked it out and as soon as she opened it, it smells bad. I mean gross, lol. But the relief was priceless. It dripped on my pants and underwear, that's how much it go out. She pressed it to make the rest comes out and yes it hurts. After she got satisfied, I felt so much better and started dancing around jokingly from so slow when walking. Now, it's still dripping but my mom and I thinking surgery is not necessary. Hopefully. Of course, I just have to live like this maybe forever.

Another event, my parents journey of buying a house. I don't tell anyone except for my closest friends. Yesterday, I just told my friends here at work about it (two of them then became three since one told another one). When I get home, Mom was telling me about a complication about papers. Last week, it was like that too but mom fixed it and found a way to complete the process. And here we are again, trying to make this happen and it looks like it's just too stressful. I feel bad for my mom the most. Lenders, Please don't prequalify people when later on you're going to judge every little thing we have. She even told me last night, I'm okay with not pursuing the house as long as your back is healed completely. In my mind, mom NO. I want this house to be yours and I'm going to be okay no matter what. Here we are again for the waiting game if there's another conflict on papers during the process. I hope I did not jinx it.

Final event going on, my boyfriend is having a bad time in his career. Last year, we tried him applying for a Tourist Visa and was denied. Now as a seafarer in the Philippines, you need to have a crew visa to US. And because he got denied before, the company he was in was hesitant to help him because of that denial. What I hate the most. Is they made him wait forever and never calls him. The only way he'd know is if he go there personally. They 'tried' but never really did anything and that's what bugs me. Waste of MONTHS especially for my man. Philippines.
I can't do anything to help him out about this. I can't just go home to him for a few days because if I do that, those few days will be going to my travel time. This sucks. And what I love about my boyfriend? He does not talk shit about the company. He keeps saying, I don't blame them since it his fault applying for that visa. He understands the risk of the company about him when they receive a denial as a crew visa because of him. What an honorable attitude he has. He is so strong. And tomorrow, he will start going around Manila to find a company that will take him.

To almighty, whoever you may be. I don't know what to do to help my parents and the love of my life. These are out of my hands. I can't do anything to make it better in anyway. I can try making them feel optimistic but in reality, I'm scared as well. I don't know what to sacrifice for them. I will always make them first in my prayers and thoughts than myself or my cyst problem. And to make myself worse, yesterday I purchased two tickets in two different concerts. I will be going alone on each. If I had known that my mom will tell me at night that something is not going smoothly in the process and my man knew all along that he will be withdrawn by his amazing agency, I would have never bought anything for myself. I'm sorry.
Please be strong when you are having unfortunate events in your life. Like I'm trying to be.
Have a Day. Yes, not pressuring you to have a good one whatsoever. If it is then I'm happy for you, if not, breathe. Join me in just having a day. Or week? Maybe month. who knows :)

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