Friday, April 29, 2016

It's okay if you don't know anything.

Dealing with a new job, everybody like me starts with knowing nothing at all. You need to be patient with the one training you and most importantly you need to be patient with yourself. This, not only partakes in career but relationships as well. Not knowing who you're with for a long time will make adjusting harder. But, as long as you're happy with your partner/job or whatever you're doing, Keep pushing.

It's so easy for some people to let go. Of people. Of jobs. I don't blame them. But remember, I'm biased. But in my opinion, if you really want something, you can't be picky. Sure have standards and criteria for yourself but be contented. In the other hand, know when to stop settling. Confusing right? I don't even know. But as of now, I love what I'm doing and this is what I studied for. I'm fortunate to have my supervisor invest in me, a young human with no experience whatsoever in the job I'm in and didn't finish my Bachelors. Hell, Thank You!
A little treat to laugh below: my face after a work out :) taken 2 days ago.
So, back to not knowing anything. The one training me currently is strict. And I do understand her for that. It's actually really helpful. But there are times that I don't even know what to ask so I just do what I can do and understand. Then the other day, she told me, "it's okay that you don't know anything". For most people, they would take that as an insult. With me, I was relieved. Why? Because knowing nothing if it's not okay are too much pressure. I know I'm not even crawling at my job compare to veterans. So hearing that from her, and from my supervisor saying we're really patient and basic stuff can be learned 3-6 months, I'm more confident to just absorb everything yet breathe. So, it's okay. Be patient and relax. Learn then move on. That's how it is.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

What you give/do =/= what you get in return

I woke up today 30 minutes late. More like, I chose to stay 30 minutes more in my bed to sleep. Thinking oh it would be fine, I'll just go home 30 minutes after. Hell no, due to traffic I was 15 more minutes added to that 30 minutes. Haha! I expected the 30 minutes, not the traffic. There was a construction of where I'm driving everyday so theres that. I just figured out once in a while, if you do bad things to yourself or others, worse will come to you. Sometimes, it's not your fault, it's just life is to be in a bad situation. But then, if it keeps happening then have a reality check because honey, it's you.

If it comes to goodness, (is that even a word?) it's probably the same thing. I'm not sure because all my rants here are from experiences and observation. It depends. And it varies on where you are and whk you know. Some people have the privelege to be born with everything. Most are not. But, manners are necessary to be taught to every body. Or else, you'll just be a rich douche with nothing to prove. But then, don't expect that just because you did good, you expect it will come back to you. For me, I'd rather have a mind set of if I do good. No harm will come to me. Even out as much as you can. Just like eating too much will make you fat, do exercise. Thats that make sense? I have a great analogy lol.

In all seriousness, I want to share that just because you are volunteering dies not mean you are better that anyone else. Thaty just means you're good and you're putting your time for someone else's beneficial and I applaud you for that. But do you ever think that you can make fun of others just because they don't do what you're doing. Same thing with bad habits like drugs and alcohol or even people that was i jail. I know it's hard for most people to treat them equally like normal. But please give them a chance. Give everyone a chance. Whatever you do in life, nobody can guarantee it will come back to you in the same way. But I know for a fact that not giving up and standing up for many rejections will make you get there. 

NEVER COMPARE your situation to others. Your time is not theirs and their life is not yours. You have your own as everyone else has. Karma is bitch, that's true. But you can control what you do and how you perceive your surroundings. Learn how to see what makes you better by being alone, thats how I figure out how I know myself. This is going nowhere and I'm still sleepy even if I already extended my sleep for 30 minutes. Point is, if you offer someone your food, don't expect it to be back without a bite. If you're going to be generous, be generous with a heart not who wants that someone will owe you. It does not work like that.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Fun Age - I want to Get Lost

The other day, when the woman that's working on my mother's belly knew that I am 21, she said without blinking an eye, "Ohh, Fun Age!". I answered, Yep. In my mind, I'm like, really fun. With two jobs, no rest day, no friends outside of work, love of my life in the other side of the world, it is really fun. Well, it's my choice anyway. To be here with my parents, to have two jobs that I love.
Fun. I don't even know how it feels anymore. Last time I had fun was in Singapore. Well, I do have fun here once in a while with my mom and dad going somewhere and doing something. But, it's just fun. Nothing to do with my age. If that even make sense. You know how you get with your friends, with your partner, how you act and laugh is not the same when you are with your family. And I miss that. I'm longing for that feeling. To feel that I'm still young and can have fun at all times.

When we were in Singapore, at first night we got lost. We rode the bus and it was raining. We can't see where we are looking through the windows due to moist from the rain outside. We did not have any GPS since our phone's data does not work (too expensive). We finally decided to walked out of the bus. And when we did, we do not know where we are. It was funny. I did not care a single thing about where we are. Because in my mind, we were together, for the whole week. Nobody will care and it will be amazing. I miss that feeling. Being spontaneous, not knowing what will happen, getting lost and finding your way back. Feeling young and wild. Best part is, our parents supported us. They did not spend a thing for us. It was all and him. We were mature going there for a week, and we were children having fun all the time.

I love reading maps. I love thinking where to go next and plan ahead. I know I say I want to get lost. That's too broad. I don't really know what I meant and I can't put it in one sentence. I guess I'm getting tired with acting all mature nowadays.
I have goals and timeline on what I want to have, what I want to pursue. It's my way of being sane looking at the future. It's my technique on how to control pressure and the overwhelming life ahead of me. But then, not all things can be planned. Especially fun times. Those can't be forced nor neglect. I want to have fun again. Unexpected fun and being free. People can never be contented in their life yeah? That must be what you think of me. But no, it's that I'm not contented. I just really miss not worrying about work, money and future. It happens. Especially when you're not with your inspiration.

I want to get lost. Or am I lost? I don't know. It's FUN to find out I guess :|

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Instagram Relatable Posts

Since I posted Annoying once (there will be more of annoying since ranting is a part of human's life so you wait), below are relatable once. At least for me.
I'm biased. Let me just put that out there before I start regarding 'feminism' and stuff. Well just a comment about the post above. I'm amazed how the astronaut answered the question. I know the one who ask was just wanting to make a conversation (maybe) before hand but we all know they won't ask that to men.
I say sorry a LOT. I didn't have an emotional abuse growing up though. But. No matter if I know you or not, I will say it if I bump you or something. I feel like sometimes people seems to look at me like I'm weak (well, if you know me, you can tell the others) because I apologize a lot but it's just my habit. People thinks apologizing is a sign of weakness but I say otherwise. It's a bit relatable to humility. The way you handle things, owning up to what you've done, that's bravery in my book. 
THIS IS ME. I mean, I'm the one who will JUMP :) yes, relatable for me. I'm the kne who will tell the others, I'm planning this, want to do it too? And they will say uhm No? Lol
I don't have a creative mind. I can't give you an idea that will make it amazing (whatever it may be). Yet I appreciate great movies especially where you get attached on both protagonist and antagonist because of their reasoning. So for those writers that can make people think and feel new things from their own minds, thank you. Keep doing what you're doing.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Silliest things that are fun are not silly at all.

Simple things in life are the most unappreciated moments. Like most author write, don't sweat the small stuff. With life getting huge and wider every single day in a human's range, we tend to forget little details in our everyday lives. Like with my family and relationship. My parents and I work all the time yet we find time to laugh and talk. My man and I are the most calm couple that is LDR. Yet. When we talk, we converse the silliest topics or the most serious once.
Today, I had fun taking pictures below with an app. Since a lot of people are having fun with face swaps, I did the same. Then that's it. No need for a million more :)
Good chuckle from my dad and mom. Amazing recovery from the stress from work. That's how it should be I guess. After being serious all day, there's a time to be goofy and silly.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Target Appreciation (Supermarket)

Ever since we got to America, grocery shopping is straight to Walmart. There are some food and drinks (like my juice with the orange peach flavor, and yakult) that others don't have. So we still go there for eggs and usual groceries we need.
But, if we only need some that we know can find somewhere else, we go to Target. Why? Because.
1. It seems cleaner. 
2. Carts are quieter.
3. Accessories are more beautiful.
4. Customer service is way better.
5. We love the dresses: More choices and more stylish.

But of course, there are still cons. If you compare some of what they're selling to Walmart and others, most of the time Target is more expensive. 

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Don't compare your Journey to others

Comparing is a human instinct. It's an insecurity that's hard to ignore. It's not really a sin per se, but will make you feel bad if continued. It's okay to compare things like what the other bought and whats good and what not. Places like where to go and compare branches so you would know which one is cleaner or better. People? Not so much or I hope not.
My face yesterday eating the Tiramisu crispy waffle from Las Vegas my parents got me. (Yes, I posted a picture of myself to show how huge my pores are, eyebrows that never fixed and how dry my lips too. I contradicted myself about those IG annoying post. But hey, I'm not a celebrity nor defending what I bought and doing drugs. I just want my waffle.) 

Every morning, when I'm early to work, I listen to 'Tell me something good' segment in 102.7 Kiis Fm. Everyday, they have a quote. Today's "Don't compare your Chapter 1 to Others Chapter 20." I'm so happy about that quote. It hits me. It should hit everybody. Not only regarding career but in school, relationship and much more. It's not the same with what you're going through with them. There might be some similarities but never 100% same.
And for the teachers, trainers, tutors and who ever that is helping someone do something, have a little more patience. Understand the situation of your student. You can see if we are trying our best or not. Then that's the time you can be upset. But if we are just starting and we didn't get something right away? Relax. Give us time to absorb as much as we can and we can try again. We will try again. It's not a race, it's a learning process. It's a Journey.
Don't expect us to be as fast as you. We're just starting and you're already an expert.

This was me at my new job. Today is my one month and I'm not even sure if they will absorb me. There are parts I excel, but not all of them. And of course, for the job that I have, I need to know all parts. In my defense, I'm only here for ONE month. And I learned three program softwares. Dude, give me a break. I hope they know I'm trying my best because I am and I really like what I'm doing. It's a challenge and I am learning a lot. I want to do this and continue. But please, bear with me. I'm like a baby crawling that will and have mistakes. Not really mistakes but more like spilling a cup without me even knowing. My previous mistakes were not a big deal, actually it is. Uhm, it's like if I do it right then good. But, since I didn't exactly do it right even though I didn't know I was doing it wrong, I felt so stupid. I'm sorry. Again, I'm learning. That was the other day.
While yesterday, I was told to slow down. To take my time understanding. I guess that's what I'll do. I hope and try my best to be better. I will not quit this chapter.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Instagram Annoying Posts

I will not be sorry for the things I will say on the photos below. These are my opinions and rants about stupidity and attention seeker humanity. 
This 'celebrity' in the Philippines is not one of the top ones but act like it. I never even see her act in shows but I can tell I will not like it. Using your fame for your vanity is too much of a narcissistic to me. Look at the image, what's the connection of the damn quote of her being in a swimsuit? It makes my head boil. Why are people supporting this kind of 'artist'.
This woman that I know for years now has a second hand Honda. I love Hondas. I think they are classic. But, for her to post this picture saying about how bank owns the car, is clearly a misconception. Honey. For people like us who pays at the bank for our car, that doesn't mean we don't own them. It just means we paid a big amount of money and need some help about it. Other than that, it's completely ours. I wouldn't trade my monthly paying car to a cheap but unreliable one. I'm not bragging. I'm defending. Believe, her posts are about her are being repaired every now and then. Sure. You got a deal paying cheap but need it to be serviced every month? Good Luck driving far away, everyday like me. 
You already know what's wrong with the above one. I don't smoke anything. But, I don't care if you do. As long as you don't hurt anyone, go and have fun. But please, be responsible. Thats a freaking child right there. And you think it's funny? What if it was a medical pill that has serious side effects? You're just going to say I'm sorry I left it behind? Childish. Irresponsible. Think of others. Don't be selfish. Grow up. 

Monday, April 11, 2016

Meeting friends from Arkansas

Currently at Max's in Glendale. Last time I ate at Mac's was in July 2014. My parents, more than 3 years meaning from Philippines going here. It's been 8 months more or less since we moved here. We all miss our friends back in Arkansas, especially my father. All his drinking buddies are there and as of now he has none in California. 
We also went to Glendale Galleria. Well, the outside of it, lol.
Been here only a few hours at night and may I say it is beautiful. Didn't get a chance to see the tram that goes around it. Good for kids. Awesome for shopaholics with money. Fountain is awesome as well especially with the music. Great place to have a date, walk around and shop then eat.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Thoughts about Engagement Rings

I'm not engaged or will be anytime soon. This is my own thoughts about rings itself, and maybe a little bit about engagement. Once in a while, I see a photo like below on social medias.
Image above is from Instagram obviously.
For me, I don't want damn biggest stone on my hand. You know how scary it is to carry that all around the world? And even if you are careful, you might still lose it with one wrong stroke of your hand. I'm not a jewelry person. I only have earrings and a watch everyday. My earrings are in my ears 24 hours a day. I change it maybe once in a while for an event or whatever occasion but it stays after. I love watches. I change it everyday whatever my mood is. I do want a necklace though. For me to wear all the time, from my man. Just don't know when that will happen.

So, I found it extremely stupid. To be hang up. On this bigger stone, more carat the better. Or the more they love you. Come on people. That's not how love works. You are being engaged to a person, not their money. I'm sorry for those who make such a big deal out of their 'rings'. But honestly, does it really matter?
Try to watch Mission Impossible 3. Ethan proposed to his girl with a ring that is for a kid. If I get propose to in the future with something like that, I would be happy. It's the thought about the ring. Not the price. The effort to think about what you'll like or how they will propose, that's what matters. Not the mineral that's been compromised to wear on your finger and purchased for at least two months salary. I would be okay with a simple one, it doesn't even have to be a real jewelry, as long as my hand won't react to it.

Promise Ring is a bit exaggerating. Why would you need a ring? What are you going to do with it once you get engaged and get married? I don't know. My culture don't have this promise ring and I do agree with not having it. What for? Waste I guess. Just give someone a ring if you want to, stop labeling it as a promise. Too much pressure I guess.
Engagement rings. If you want a big one, what do you expect for your wedding ring then? Bigger? I say, have a simple engagement ring and do what you want with Wedding ring. With your man. Don't focus on engagement ring, it looks to me that the focus is only on the woman. Which is a bit disappointing in society. It's an engagement of a couple, not a woman getting a big stone in her hand. It's about love and marriage, not diamonds and carats. Yep.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Firestone Complete Auto Care

Address: 24673 Alessandro Blvd, Moreno Valley, CA 92553
Hours:  7AM–6PM
Awesome place to change batteries. I learned yesterday that my car needs battery replacement and told me to shop before replacing it. I did after that checkup and found this on the web with a discount. - website
I called them 7 am this morning and the manager answered the call and told me it's available. I said can I go there without appointment he said I'll make for you right now so he did. I got in and less it's not even 8 am and we're back home.  I was supposed to use my coupon below from internet but my printer is not working well. When the manager said I'll see what I can do, he gave me $20 less.
I paid $128.57 out the door compare to the original price of $20 more. Awesome!
Hyundai will charge me $160 before taxes with a warranty of 3 years.
Compare to Auto Zone, this battery has a 5 year warranty and Auto Zone only has 2 years.
They also send you an invoice on your email. That's good when you're too disorganized with papers.

Mom's Rav4 already changed its batteries so I'm not surprised with my car who has way more mileage that she has.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Zenatane after 5 months/Busy Day

Bare face when woke up this morning. Most people is done with Zenatane for 5 months, I'm not. Extended another month but with lower dosage from 80 mg to 60 mg. The doctor said it should've been way clearer but she saw my scar on the forehead. Then she decided to extend it.
Lips are super dry. Need to put up lip balm at about 30 minutes every time.
Going to my regular check up this morning. Then right after, straight to work.
After work, 9th check up of my Gooby. Great service at Riverside Hyundai in Auto Drive Center. I have an appointment at 4:45 pm and was served on the dot. They said battery needs to be replaced. It was too late for them to replaced it even if it was only 5:30 pm and I was told to shop before making up my mind. So that's my errand tomorrow. Before work. 
Work work work work work. Yey!
4 months
2 months

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Car Buying Decision Argument

This is not for me or not even about me. It's a situation that my man and I got into because of her sister's situation. We did not come into a fight, but we were almost there. Good thing I apologized and he understood. We're calm now.
Their parents is in their home from abroad. Complete family. They also have a big brother that came home days before their parents from Singapore. As always, they do go roam around to bond, eat here and there and have fun. Yesterday. This was only in yesterday. He texted me before going to bed, "We are planning to buy our sister a car." I'm like. WHAT? Why?
Then I asked plenty of questions. He answered. I know upfront he knows that I'm not supportive with all of it. His sister is 15 years old and never drove before. Never. 
(Warning: I am biased. My opinions here  might be because of my previous situation and can have a point somewhere or not at all.) M is me. He is N.
M: Why are you going to buy a car for her?
N: For college. They need to have a car.
M: Why all of a sudden, there still two more years before she's on college.
N: So that on her 18th, It'll be done, all paid.
M: She does not even know how to drive.
N: We'll teach her.
M: Automatic or Manual?

Let me stop here before I continue the conversation we had. You can brag knowing how to DRIVE A STICK. But having a Automatic Transmission car is the same as having a manual if you know how to drive both. Biggest difference, it's easier on a manual in a third world country because of the traffic. I know how to do both but I don't make people who do not know Manual feel any less of a driver. Because to tell you the truth, as long as you know both IT DOES NOT MATTER. It's how you freaking drive. That's the bottom line, not how beautiful or expensive your car is.
M: Ok. Who's going to pay for it?
N: Dad put a down and I will continue paying for 2 years. My brother will "help" as well for the monthly dues.
M: Did they talk about this (sister and parents) before hand? It all seemed rush.
N: (I forgot if he answered since I asked a lot, as far as I remember, It was really a rash decision.) It's done yet. We're going to look tomorrow after mass to see and test drive.
Today. They went to church and dealers that the drive by after that. He texted me when they got home.
M: Did you buy it already?
N: No, we only passed the paperwork.
M: (In my mind, the hell.) No, but you already passed the papers? That means it's already processing and you bought it!
N: We chose this and that compare to here. All cute. Hatch back.

He started saying thank you for the support. I can feel it so much (sarcastically). I said I'm sorry I can't lie. Next time, I'll just have to shut up and don't ask anything. I'm not like my man who will keep his mouth shut if he knows we're going to have a fight. Especially if I know stuff regarding buying car and freaking driving. I feel bad to not be 100% supportive about what they did. That's me. But then I remember, it does not involve me. I don't need to stress myself out. I apologized and told him "Let's stop this conversation, I'm sorry." And we both moved on. I will try my best to not say anything unsupportive (if that is even a word) anytime soon. It will be hard, but I need to just shut up.
Now, this is about me.
  1. First thing first, her sister does not know how to drive. And you're going to buy her a car? My mom said, it's not having a car, you also have to think about accidents. Don't get me started about that.
  2. She's 15 years old. In America, it's normal to buy you children at 16. (I don't agree with this though, it's spoiling them at a young age). In our culture, unless you're rich, you don;t get a car until you buy it with your work money around in mid 20's. Yes, I do compare myself when I was in her age. I was already driving in our Manual car back then and never came to my mind to have my own one.
  3. She's not even in college yet and will not be using until she got her license. I got my car with my own hardworking money when I was 18 because in Arkansas, there are no public transportation. And I drive an hour to and an hour to home so a must. My man explained that yeah she needs it for college. But damn, there's two years left! 
Yes, I compare it to myself that's why I feel not supportive. I don't know if I really need to apologize, maybe not being supportive enough, but that's how I really feel. If my man or anyone in his family would read this, this is my honest opinion. Jazzy (sister) deserves a lot since she's the best in her age that I know, I just hope she'll be safe. Learn as fast as possible because having a car is no joke, especially if you're a beginner and not let a free car get into her head. Be safe. That's all it is.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

The Flower Fields @ Carlsbad, California

My mom purchased the tickets online so we didn't get to stand in line. Tickets about $14-16.
Awesome weather to be walking around here. No bees, insects or anything. Well, they have a trap that's why. Really well done for people taking care of it. Ootd. Their Website.
We arrived earlier than expected. It opens at 9 am. When we got in at the gate, an employee told us that we are early than 5000 people. That means that's how many will arrive. Usually. 

Mother had to buy the hat on the shop in Gardens around the entrance. I feel bad we did not have the time to roam around the gift shop since a lot of stuff looks really good. This is a good relaxing scenery for a date or family bonding (like us). Worth the walk. A little hike here and there. I loved it. We were in a rush but you will enjoy it in an hour.

Friday, April 1, 2016

My Mom's challenge @ 43

Last Monday, March 28, my mom went into a spa to have her belly do some treatment to make it flatter. Before that, she also went to a tanning spa that has a body sweat where you lay down for an hour and just sweat. After the treatment last monday, I was teasing her about it and she said something like 'Let's see how you won't have these treatments I'm getting when you reach 43." I said, No I will not. (I won't let myself get in that situation.)
It felt like a challenge to me. To have children and be fit so I won't need those treatments she's paying right now. My mother had three pregnancies and I'm the only one lived. My two brothers who followed me was prematured. She had two C-Section where they cut her lower stomach and get the baby because normal delivery can't happen due to the situation. I'm the first child so Inwas delivered normal and no problem. I'm sorry if my information is wrong but thats how I understand it.

1. Fit Body Wrap that will burn up to 1000 calories in The Tanning Spa/Salon in Canyon Crest, Riverside - Groupon
2. They measure her before hand, weigh before starting the procedure, told her drink lots of water before going into treatment and gave her something after to make her release a lot. Ayres Hotel in Moreno Valley - Website

Everytime she tries to keep up with me, running or whatever movement we're in, she blames it on her pregnancies to have a kind of a muffin top belly. I know she's busy and everything but there are times that she's just lazy. Believe me. Excuses if you ask me. And now she's taking shorcuts for her belly. Which I hope and takes as a challenge, won't do.
I hope I remember this story when in the future. I am wanting to have children at least 5-6 years from now. And with work that I will want to keep while raising them, I need to find a time to work out. Thanks for my mom's challenge that I will have a drive to not have a muffin top and get treatments for a shortcut. I hate when she makes excuses and try to say that you're not any better than me. Sorry mom, no one is perfect.
I'm not interested in being bulky with muscles or able to lift heavy stuff. I want to have a great maintained cardio so I need to sweat at least once a week. And with my mom's company once in a while, since she's also a member on my gym that I paid for, we'll both have fun.